Paul D and Sethe have an extremely complicated relationship that constantly morphs and shifts throughout Beloved. They spent lots of time at Sweet Home together, and therefore have an established emotional bond. Though a more physical aspect of their relationship develops, the glue holding them together is their shared trauma of living at Sweet Home and of their respective escapes.
Generally speaking, relationships held together primarily by shared traumatic experiences are fragile and unstable: Paul D and Sethe's relationship is no exception. Though they understand each other's experiences with slavery, they have little else in common. Crucially, they haven't seen each other in eighteen years, and there are significant gaps in their knowledge what has happened in the other's life in the nearly two decades since their last encounter. Most importantly, Paul D is unaware of what Sethe did in the shed on that fateful day when schoolmaster came to 124.
With the presence of Beloved, Paul D and Sethe's bond weakens because of Beloved's strange nature and her parasitic attachment to Sethe. Beloved pushes Paul D and Sethe apart, both through her reincarnated presence and because Paul D doesn't know about how the baby Beloved died. When he finally finds out, he isolates himself completely from Sethe. However, they still have shared memories from Sweet Home connecting them.
At the end of the novel once Beloved is gone and Sethe is bedridden, Paul D and Sethe are as close as ever. They both understand that the other has faults, but the significance of having someone who understands what you went through is so tremendous that they are able to work around their mistakes and shortcomings in order to remain with and support each other. So despite their shared trauma being a weak basis for a romantic relationship, it is a strong basis for an emotional support network, and that is what Paul D and Sethe end up providing for each other.
Generally speaking, relationships held together primarily by shared traumatic experiences are fragile and unstable: Paul D and Sethe's relationship is no exception. Though they understand each other's experiences with slavery, they have little else in common. Crucially, they haven't seen each other in eighteen years, and there are significant gaps in their knowledge what has happened in the other's life in the nearly two decades since their last encounter. Most importantly, Paul D is unaware of what Sethe did in the shed on that fateful day when schoolmaster came to 124.
With the presence of Beloved, Paul D and Sethe's bond weakens because of Beloved's strange nature and her parasitic attachment to Sethe. Beloved pushes Paul D and Sethe apart, both through her reincarnated presence and because Paul D doesn't know about how the baby Beloved died. When he finally finds out, he isolates himself completely from Sethe. However, they still have shared memories from Sweet Home connecting them.
At the end of the novel once Beloved is gone and Sethe is bedridden, Paul D and Sethe are as close as ever. They both understand that the other has faults, but the significance of having someone who understands what you went through is so tremendous that they are able to work around their mistakes and shortcomings in order to remain with and support each other. So despite their shared trauma being a weak basis for a romantic relationship, it is a strong basis for an emotional support network, and that is what Paul D and Sethe end up providing for each other.
This is very nicely put: it takes some time, and both of them need to grapple with dizzying new "information" that the other provides, but in the end we see two damaged people turning to look to the future together, in a spirit of mutual healing and support rather than judgment. As Paul D puts it, he will no longer "count" Sethe's feet--or pass judgment on her actions--but "rub" her feet, help her heal. It is a surprisingly beautiful and positive ending for such a devastating novel.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Paul D understands her situation and finally realizes that he can be there for her even though she's been through (and done) terrible things. He also sees that she has nobody left - before Beloved and Denver to some extent left her, she had other people to support her however toxic they were - and does not want her to go down the path he is familiar with because Baby Suggs went down it.
ReplyDeleteI agree. It's totally understandable why Paul D initially reacted to the news in the way she did but its also understandable why Sethe chose to share it with him. It's almost like she knew he would come around to understand. Their relationship is defined by their past like so many other things in this novel. We can see the power of the past throughout this novel and the powerful relationship its created at the end of it. Two broken individuals fixing each other.
ReplyDeleteThis is true. I can see why Paul reacted the way initially to Sethe's secret, as he knew her as being the "victim" for so long, and suddenly she's closer to the "villain" figure. She knows, though, that he'll come around to understand, and I'm glad he does. I'd be curious to see how Paul and Sethe would continue their relationship into the future - what would their ideal 'future' be? How much of the past will still be creeping through? How will their relationship grow - will it be ever defined by the past, or will they find more in common?
ReplyDeleteI'm not gonna lie, up until the end I thought that they weren't going to get back together. Looking back now I see that I kinda misjudged Paul D, and I agree with this. Although his comments about Sethe "not having 4 legs but 2" created a wide emotional 'forest' between them, they still kind of understood that they had to support each other. In the end, Paul D makes sure that Sethe doesn't end up like Suggs, and they start rebuilding that emotional connection.
ReplyDeleteI agree and that is similar to how some people would make good friends, but not good lovers. Neither of them are perfect and they both did what they had to do to survive. While initially we can see that Paul D is appalled by what Sethe did in the end when he sees that she has finally broken and is starting to act like Baby Suggs, Paul D doesn't want to see that happen and we can see that their relationship has developed in a different way. We also see that after Beloved leaves, the bond between Paul D and Denver changes with Denver becoming more comfortable around him.
ReplyDeleteI really like this analysis of Sethe and Paul D's relationship - I think it accurately encapsulates the journey of their relationship. I think that Beloved plays a big role in the ups and downs in their relationship since Paul D is uneasy about Beloved since day one and was never super comfortable with her actions and behaviors, especially when it came to Sethe.
ReplyDeletePaul and Sethe have their ups and downs, but their bond from being the last survivors of Sweet Home brought them together in a way no other character shares. Every other character from that time period exists only in flashbacks, or was too young to remember much. Paul's support is especially necessary because Beloved refuses to understand what context drove Sethe to her actions.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t give a lot of thought to the relationship between paul d and sethe. At the time, I thought their relationship was something interesting but there wasn’t much substance to it. But while reading this blog post, I realize that I might have judged too quickly. I think that at the end of the day, sweet home is something that they both have experienced and is something that might pain them to remember but will be something that both of these characters can support each other with. Thus, there is some kind of strong bond that keeps these characters together and creates a lot of care between these two.
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