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Rufus and Dana's abusive relationship

As we got further into Kindred, Rufus quickly emerged to me as the most terrifying character. He was initially a relatively sweet child, but grew into a deeply manipulative and impulsively violent young man whose unpredictability was scary. As his relationship with Dana became increasingly more complicated, I started to notice signs of an abusive relationship between them that lasted even after his death.

This behavior truly begins during the visit in which Rufus is 19. At this point, a pattern begins. Every time Dana scolds Rufus for whatever reason, he aggressively lashes out and hurts her. He then apologizes, and manipulates her into forgiving him. When she tries to escape, he has so much power over her because of the institution of slavery that he can easily prevent her from doing so. Likewise, Dana relies on him so much that she can't ever truly escape. In earlier stages of this pattern, Rufus is more psychologically manipulative than physically abusive. A perfect example of this is when he doesn't send Dana's letters to Kevin because he doesn't want her to leave and feels possessive towards her.

On Dana's last two trips to the Weylin plantation, Rufus' actions towards her become more violent, yet she is still able to forgive him as their relationship breaks down. The climax of this violence is when Rufus assaults Dana and she subsequently kills him. Even then, Dana can barely bring herself to kill him because of the emotional connection they've built. This constant forgiveness of Rufus' unforgivable actions follows Dana back to 1976, where even Kevin takes notice and tells her to stop making excuses for Rufus.

This seemed like a pretty textbook abusive relationship to me, though admittedly complicated by the extraordinary circumstances. What do you guys think? Were Rufus' manipulative acts intentional and calculated, or are these behaviors simply a product of the twisted system in which he is forced to live?

Comments

  1. Mitchell24 April 2020 at 09:45

    Another "textbook" element of this quintessential abusive relationship is that Rufus is himself a victim of abuse--which he grows up to perpetuate on others. When we first meet him, he's as afraid of his father's whip as Dana is, and they have an implicit "alliance" against Tom Weylin. But as Rufus "becomes" Tom, this alliance fades--once he can have *her* whipped for displeasing him, we see how the social context corrupts him. This seems like a larger-scale version of the idea that an abused child often grows up to be an abuser. And slavery would represent the absolute pinnacle of abusive relationships.

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  2. Minji Choi24 April 2020 at 13:15

    While I think that Rufus' actions are intentional, I also think that his actions are largely affected by the environment he has grown up in. He grew up during the slavery era, where he's constantly witnessed and been told that he has ultimate authority over black people. More specifically, as Mr. Mitchell mentioned in his comment above, Rufus was abused by his father. The combination of the slavery era enabling him to take these actions, and the effects of his father abusing him when he was younger, produced an adult Rufus that abuses and manipulates others.

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  3. Sophia Schmitz29 April 2020 at 09:42

    I agree, I became more terrified of Rufus as I kept reading. At the beginning of the novel I have to admit that I liked him. Rufus had a childhood innocence that I found endearing. Unfortunately as he grew older he became an increasingly manipulative person especially towards Dana.

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  4. Erin4 May 2020 at 21:32

    Like Dana, we initially pity Rufus because of his abuse, he is a victim, and we want him to get the help he needs. Having that initial view of him as a victim can make it harder for both Dana and the reader to see the red flags as they come up. He's really good about pulling Dana in and making it seem like he needs her and pulling at her instincts to want to help him. He makes her think that they have a special relationship because of their circumstances and that he treats her differently than he would a slave, which is maybe true, but still excuses his mistreatment of her as well as the other slaves.

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